Loch Nessy

This is the funniest press release I have ever received!

Friday 30 March 2007


Has the Loch Ness Monster finally been evicted by a Crocodile (and not one
from Dundee!)?

Recent sightings of a large object in Loch Ness are nothing new but a recent
rush of shocked tourists telling of what they have seen along the shores of
Loch Ness have generated a tide of speculation and wonder in the area.

Several reports of a large unidentified creature seen wading along the Loch
edge below the Lip’O’Flora viewpoint (the place where Flora MacDonald helped
Rob Roy MacGregor escape the English redcoats) near the present day Clansman
Hotel have proven to be true. Much as some locals might wish it to be The
Loch Ness Monster, it is believed to be a large Floridian crocodile
(Crocodylus acutus).

It is thought the reptile may be native to southern Florida and has simply
drifted along the path of the Atlantic Gulf Stream before finding its new
home in Scotland, or be yet another legacy from the British Pet Animals Act
of 1951, which saw the release into the wild of many exotic animals by
owners who did not have the facilities to be licensed as responsible ‘pet’
keepers or traders.

The fact that the temperature in Loch Ness has been steadily increasing in
recent years as a result of global warming has ensured the Loch now plays
host to a plethora of once unthought of flora and fauna. The recent
discovery by Prof Laoli of Milan University of a vibrant coral reef and the
fact the Loch has hot deep-water geological fissures at its depths makes it
not surprising that we can now add ‘crocodile’ to the list of new Scottish

The crocodile which is now part of the landscape has been named Giblean
Amhlair, the ancient Scots name given for a mysterious animal of the deep.

At first the solitary croc (and so far only one has been seen) stayed in the
water at a fair distance from the shore, but now is regularly coming on to
land and quite readily allows the more confident, including local children,
to pat him.

Officials from south Florida are thought to be arranging to travel to Loch
Ness over the weekend to establish whether the great Giblean Amhlair is a
native of Florida. If so, the decision will then need to be made as to
whether the lonesome croc will be repatriated to the USA – something the
locals at Loch Ness have said they will not allow (echoing the Elian
Gonzalez case of 2000).

Photographs of the crocodile at play have been taken by Fraser Campbell, the
manager of the nearby Clansman Hotel at Brackla



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